[Action; 7/9 much later, after her meeting with Cilan]
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properprincess
2016-07-24 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
[After leaving Cilan, Sonia runs all the way home, happier than she'd been when she left and seeming to almost float. The front door opens with a slam and she ignores that as she goes over to greet the Dark Devas in their exercise palace.
But, she's too happy to stay still for long. And she wants to share her happiness with her friend.]
Nanami-san? Are you home?
But, she's too happy to stay still for long. And she wants to share her happiness with her friend.]
Nanami-san? Are you home?
[ In fact she is. She had been napping on her bed (in the middle of the day, but she had never really gotten a completely regular sleep schedule), but the door slam woke her up. She stumbles into the main room where Sonia is, rubbing her eyes. ]
Sonia-san?... Is everything okay?
Sonia-san?... Is everything okay?
[Sonia turns gracefully on her feet and then launches herself into a hug at her friend, giggling as she does so.]
Everything... is wonderful!
[Sorry, Nanami. The air is thick with both the sweet, warm smell of fresh pastries and the tinkling of glass from a chime.]
I love today!
Everything... is wonderful!
[Sorry, Nanami. The air is thick with both the sweet, warm smell of fresh pastries and the tinkling of glass from a chime.]
I love today!
[She can't help it. She feels so unburdened for the first time in months. Not since she woke up "on the trip" with the others has she felt so much like herself.
It is weird, considering all the discussions she's had today have been extremely serious and heavy. But lightening the load has made it easier for her to breathe and focus on the fact that she might be allowed to be happy.]
After our talk and those with Nagito-san and Hinata-san, I...asked Cilan-san to meet me down by the lake.
And I told him everything.
It is weird, considering all the discussions she's had today have been extremely serious and heavy. But lightening the load has made it easier for her to breathe and focus on the fact that she might be allowed to be happy.]
After our talk and those with Nagito-san and Hinata-san, I...asked Cilan-san to meet me down by the lake.
And I told him everything.
[And that's enough for her happy mood to evaporate. It was ephemeral anyway, but brilliant while it lasted.
Sonia sits down on the couch, hands curled up into fists in her lap as she thinks of what to say to her friend.]
I couldn't not tell him. Not with Enoshima-san here. He deserved to know exactly what he could fast by being my friend. No one we care for is free from an attack from her.
I gave Cilan-san an opportunity to distance himself for his own safety. [She gives Nanami a pale and pained smile.] I told him that I would understand if he wished to do so. I would, but it would have hurt so much.
I have only known him for a few months, Nanami-san, but I enjoy talking to him so much. He is so kind, so smart. I don't want her to touch him. The thought that she will try to hurt me through him makes me sick to my stomach. He deserved to think of his own safety. What she does to me is my own fault.
In order to protect him, I told him about my part as one of Enoshima-san's allies...
Sonia sits down on the couch, hands curled up into fists in her lap as she thinks of what to say to her friend.]
I couldn't not tell him. Not with Enoshima-san here. He deserved to know exactly what he could fast by being my friend. No one we care for is free from an attack from her.
I gave Cilan-san an opportunity to distance himself for his own safety. [She gives Nanami a pale and pained smile.] I told him that I would understand if he wished to do so. I would, but it would have hurt so much.
I have only known him for a few months, Nanami-san, but I enjoy talking to him so much. He is so kind, so smart. I don't want her to touch him. The thought that she will try to hurt me through him makes me sick to my stomach. He deserved to think of his own safety. What she does to me is my own fault.
In order to protect him, I told him about my part as one of Enoshima-san's allies...
[ She'd spoken of Cilan to her before, but in conflicted tones, much like now. But this was an ultimatum. This was more than Nanami would expect any of her friends to tell anyone, particularly an outsider. ]
You... you really did tell him everything...
And... how did he react?
You... you really did tell him everything...
And... how did he react?
[Nanami's quiet, disbelieving tone is exactly what Sonia's feared from others who know her past.]
I didn't tell him about the island trip and game we were forced to engage in, but I told him about Hope's Peak Academy and our acquaintance with Enoshima-san and our joining her in her mission. Our capture by the Future Foundation and corralling on Jabberwock Island for rehabilitation.
[The air around her grows cold, an icy wind blowing around her hair and skirt.]
He asked me if I was remorseful for participating, to which I answered that of course I was. I fear every day that my home and family are gone and that I am the one solely responsible for it. That I have gone against everything that I was raised to believe was important to help someone I despise.
[The pained smile is back, but with a few sparkles of absolute joy and appreciation for what she has to say next.]
He told me that if that was the case then he would continue to be my friend, to defend me if necessary from those who wish to do me harm. He's offered to be my champion.
I didn't tell him about the island trip and game we were forced to engage in, but I told him about Hope's Peak Academy and our acquaintance with Enoshima-san and our joining her in her mission. Our capture by the Future Foundation and corralling on Jabberwock Island for rehabilitation.
[The air around her grows cold, an icy wind blowing around her hair and skirt.]
He asked me if I was remorseful for participating, to which I answered that of course I was. I fear every day that my home and family are gone and that I am the one solely responsible for it. That I have gone against everything that I was raised to believe was important to help someone I despise.
[The pained smile is back, but with a few sparkles of absolute joy and appreciation for what she has to say next.]
He told me that if that was the case then he would continue to be my friend, to defend me if necessary from those who wish to do me harm. He's offered to be my champion.
[ She listens quietly to what Sonia says, never taking her eyes off of her friend. But what she has to say at the end nearly takes Nanami's breath away. ]
But-- that's wonderful! [ She can hardly dare to believe how much she's smiling. ] He believes in you... he's a true friend, Sonia-san.
But-- that's wonderful! [ She can hardly dare to believe how much she's smiling. ] He believes in you... he's a true friend, Sonia-san.
[Sonia's smile is bittersweet as she looks over at the other girl. She's both extremely happy and terrified at the same time.
It could all be a sweet dream, couldn't it?]
I am lucky to have found someone like Cilan-san. I know that. I know he can handle himself. I've seen him and his Pokémon in action. They are as wonderful a team as...Tanaka-san and the Dark Devas. But even she could hurt him.
I am a selfish person, Nanami-san. I know that if he is close to me, he could be hurt, used against me and Hinata-san and Komaeda-san.
However...I am glad that he still wants to be my friend and champion.
It could all be a sweet dream, couldn't it?]
I am lucky to have found someone like Cilan-san. I know that. I know he can handle himself. I've seen him and his Pokémon in action. They are as wonderful a team as...Tanaka-san and the Dark Devas. But even she could hurt him.
I am a selfish person, Nanami-san. I know that if he is close to me, he could be hurt, used against me and Hinata-san and Komaeda-san.
However...I am glad that he still wants to be my friend and champion.
... You're right. She could.
[ And Nanami hasn't been around long enough to know exactly what Junko's capable of here, but she knows that everybody's still very wary of her. So the danger is real.
But she takes Sonia's hand and squeezes it gently in what she hopes is comfort. ] We'll look after him, Sonia. All of us... And we'll all be there for him if anything happens.
I think... I'm still learning about wanting. But... it isn't so selfish to look for love, Sonia-san.
[ And Nanami hasn't been around long enough to know exactly what Junko's capable of here, but she knows that everybody's still very wary of her. So the danger is real.
But she takes Sonia's hand and squeezes it gently in what she hopes is comfort. ] We'll look after him, Sonia. All of us... And we'll all be there for him if anything happens.
I think... I'm still learning about wanting. But... it isn't so selfish to look for love, Sonia-san.
[She reaches over and takes Nanami's hand, her emotions settling as everything seems to level out for her.]
Nanami-san, it is all more important that you watch yourself. Speaking to Enoshima-san will only lead to circles of words, more confusing and terrible than anything you can imagine. She takes perverse pleasure in hurting those who followed her and our loved ones. And you are special to all of us.
Promise me you will be careful. No matter what happens to me. Your safety is more important than my happiness.
Nanami-san, it is all more important that you watch yourself. Speaking to Enoshima-san will only lead to circles of words, more confusing and terrible than anything you can imagine. She takes perverse pleasure in hurting those who followed her and our loved ones. And you are special to all of us.
Promise me you will be careful. No matter what happens to me. Your safety is more important than my happiness.
[ All of a sudden the conversation is different, startling Nanami. And Sonia's eyes are steely -- she's afraid for her. ]
But... those two things can both exist at once, right? You and Cilan can have your happiness even if I am more careful...
I don't think you have to worry about me, all that much. She's less dangerous here than she was at home, I think...
And if I've been brought here... then it's important to me that I do as much as I can to keep the rest of you safe. So you really shouldn't worry about me, Sonia-san...
But... those two things can both exist at once, right? You and Cilan can have your happiness even if I am more careful...
I don't think you have to worry about me, all that much. She's less dangerous here than she was at home, I think...
And if I've been brought here... then it's important to me that I do as much as I can to keep the rest of you safe. So you really shouldn't worry about me, Sonia-san...
[Sonia's scared, more now than ever. It seems like Nanami doesn't get it and she needs her friend to understand.]
Maybe they can. And maybe they cannot. If I have to choose, I would rather be miserable and have you safe, Nanami-san. I... If anything were to happen to you, it would hurt more than just me.
We all have one another, that's true. Plus there is Kirigiri-san and all our friends that we have made here in Verens, but that doesn't mean any of us are safe.
She might not have the same sort of control over us as she did back home, but that does not stop her. I am not naive to think she will stop trying to poke holes in our armor any way she can.
Maybe they can. And maybe they cannot. If I have to choose, I would rather be miserable and have you safe, Nanami-san. I... If anything were to happen to you, it would hurt more than just me.
We all have one another, that's true. Plus there is Kirigiri-san and all our friends that we have made here in Verens, but that doesn't mean any of us are safe.
She might not have the same sort of control over us as she did back home, but that does not stop her. I am not naive to think she will stop trying to poke holes in our armor any way she can.
Of course she won't. She's Junko -- it's kind of what she does.
She's a little hard to understand. I'm still trying to figure her out, I guess. I've never met her, before! Even though all of you have interacted with her a lot...
But I think there's some things she can't help doing. Or she wants it too much. Maybe both.
But still... I'm no more or less safe than any of you. I'll take caution if I can... but I won't hide from her, either.
She's a little hard to understand. I'm still trying to figure her out, I guess. I've never met her, before! Even though all of you have interacted with her a lot...
But I think there's some things she can't help doing. Or she wants it too much. Maybe both.
But still... I'm no more or less safe than any of you. I'll take caution if I can... but I won't hide from her, either.
Yes, she is quite insistent in being terrible to all those who she can affect, both from our home world and beyond.
All that you need to know about her, Nanami-san, is that she takes much pleasure in confusing people. She never says something she doesn't mean, but it all leads to despair for her, no matter what it is.
And I don't expect you to hide from her, but you needn't interact with her if you don't have to. I'm not sure that she will seek you out to hurt you the same way she does with the rest of us.
All that you need to know about her, Nanami-san, is that she takes much pleasure in confusing people. She never says something she doesn't mean, but it all leads to despair for her, no matter what it is.
And I don't expect you to hide from her, but you needn't interact with her if you don't have to. I'm not sure that she will seek you out to hurt you the same way she does with the rest of us.
[It's evening, and he is sitting on his master's backporch chanting his injuries into healing. His voice rises and falls in a practiced rythm. Chiaki will be arriving any moment now and he wants to have the day's business done so he can bring up something he's finally ready to talk about.
With Hajime gone to face Piphron, there's no better time. He can keep Hinata's silence and personal battles to himself, and ultimately keep that secret until Hajime is ready to reveal it. But, allow her to know most of the truth.
He doesn't keep secrets from friends and especially not from his partners. The wind stirs his hair, and tugs at his loose shirt, sliding through the wind chimes dangling from the edge of the awning. The air still smells of rainstorm that cut outdoor training short. He hooks his hands on the bottom of the shirt and tugs it over his head, tossing it aside.
The bruises have faded to barely visible and he once again reviews the scars on his body. In the time he's spent training with Mu, he had put on muscle but it's only in these past two weeks he can truly see it. He's still thin and wiry but there's a lithe tone to his body that he'd lacked before. Nanami will find him sitting like that with his gaze on the stars over head.]
With Hajime gone to face Piphron, there's no better time. He can keep Hinata's silence and personal battles to himself, and ultimately keep that secret until Hajime is ready to reveal it. But, allow her to know most of the truth.
He doesn't keep secrets from friends and especially not from his partners. The wind stirs his hair, and tugs at his loose shirt, sliding through the wind chimes dangling from the edge of the awning. The air still smells of rainstorm that cut outdoor training short. He hooks his hands on the bottom of the shirt and tugs it over his head, tossing it aside.
The bruises have faded to barely visible and he once again reviews the scars on his body. In the time he's spent training with Mu, he had put on muscle but it's only in these past two weeks he can truly see it. He's still thin and wiry but there's a lithe tone to his body that he'd lacked before. Nanami will find him sitting like that with his gaze on the stars over head.]
[ She's waited long enough. Frankly, she's surprised she was able to wait this long. And as she had almost expected, Sonia's new memory has eaten away at her. She feels almost like she was out of sync with the universe.
The problem is, as hard as this is on her, she doesn't want to have this conversation. She's scared of the results, frankly. (Though not for her own sake.)
But she has to ask.
When she arrives at Komaeda's, she overcompensates, smiling a bit brighter than usual-- and with how he looks, splayed out like that, it honestly isn't that hard.
But on closer inspection -- particularly in her hair, where the textures are more complex -- there's something a little off about her. Like she's not being fully rendered, or textures are popping in, or the resolution on her is just a little less than it should be.
As usual, she's brought lunch, and she passes him a bento box. She's learning how to make slightly more complicated things, so today it's noodles with soup and things. She sits next to him, not quite sure where to start, her own box still untouched. ]
How... are they? [ The news. Start with that. It was tangential to what she really wanted to know, at least. For once, she doesn't really feel like being direct. Not right away. ]
The problem is, as hard as this is on her, she doesn't want to have this conversation. She's scared of the results, frankly. (Though not for her own sake.)
But she has to ask.
When she arrives at Komaeda's, she overcompensates, smiling a bit brighter than usual-- and with how he looks, splayed out like that, it honestly isn't that hard.
But on closer inspection -- particularly in her hair, where the textures are more complex -- there's something a little off about her. Like she's not being fully rendered, or textures are popping in, or the resolution on her is just a little less than it should be.
As usual, she's brought lunch, and she passes him a bento box. She's learning how to make slightly more complicated things, so today it's noodles with soup and things. She sits next to him, not quite sure where to start, her own box still untouched. ]
How... are they? [ The news. Start with that. It was tangential to what she really wanted to know, at least. For once, she doesn't really feel like being direct. Not right away. ]
Before we get into that there's something we need to talk about. [He takes the box from her hands and turns fully to face her. There's something off about her features and he can't puzzle that out. He'll ask about it after he tells her...]
I told you I was beginning to remember things. But I never said what exactly it was. ...I'm remembering my years in school. Ah, I guess you could call them...the eve before we became Despair.
Between this mind of mine that's feeling so much and so aware I sometimes need peace...to not seeing anything but my own designs, [He drops his eyes, staring at the ground. It seems easier.]
I couldn't talk to anyone about it save, Hajime. Ha, I wasn't sure what to say about it to you. I know you wouldn't judge me for it but...it feels shameful. Like I'm not worthy of you to be so... But, I knew I had to tell you. When ahaha, I was ready. [He raises his head, raking his hair out of his face to look her in the eye.] I got suspended.
When it's very likely, I should have been expelled for...what I did. Sorry for...taking so long to tell you. Mm, I have more memories but...that's the one that bothered me the most. Since...when I did something like that last time...
[His eyes slide away from hers. Thick black chains wind around his his wrists, and the ghost of his Despairing self enfolds over the present. Last time, he set up his own murder.]
I told you I was beginning to remember things. But I never said what exactly it was. ...I'm remembering my years in school. Ah, I guess you could call them...the eve before we became Despair.
Between this mind of mine that's feeling so much and so aware I sometimes need peace...to not seeing anything but my own designs, [He drops his eyes, staring at the ground. It seems easier.]
I couldn't talk to anyone about it save, Hajime. Ha, I wasn't sure what to say about it to you. I know you wouldn't judge me for it but...it feels shameful. Like I'm not worthy of you to be so... But, I knew I had to tell you. When ahaha, I was ready. [He raises his head, raking his hair out of his face to look her in the eye.] I got suspended.
When it's very likely, I should have been expelled for...what I did. Sorry for...taking so long to tell you. Mm, I have more memories but...that's the one that bothered me the most. Since...when I did something like that last time...
[His eyes slide away from hers. Thick black chains wind around his his wrists, and the ghost of his Despairing self enfolds over the present. Last time, he set up his own murder.]
[ She takes his wrist -- not hard, but firmly. Her fingers brush up -- throughagainst the chains and shackles, and she holds those too. It's all him. ]
I came here to ask you that.
[ She says it quietly and she can't look at him. Those chains... she wants to really, really make sure he's okay. She rubs his wrist, almost massaging it. She can feel his beating pulse, so human and warm to contrast that cold metal. ]
Sonia-san remembered, a-- a few days ago. [ She shivers. The memory hasn't gotten any weaker. ]
Everyone was there. The entire class, the teacher... [ me ]
But you and Hajime. You were gone. And I didn't know how to ask you why. I guess I still didn't.
[ She'd lost her chance before she'd told him, hadn't she? She leans back against the bench, now intertwining her fingers together, a sad little confused smile playing across her face. (It's probably a smile.) ]
Ah... we still don't know how to talk to each other, any of us... it's a process, isn't it? Just like anything else...
But Nagito-kun... did you really think for a moment that I would think you're unworthy? How could I?
I came here to ask you that.
[ She says it quietly and she can't look at him. Those chains... she wants to really, really make sure he's okay. She rubs his wrist, almost massaging it. She can feel his beating pulse, so human and warm to contrast that cold metal. ]
Sonia-san remembered, a-- a few days ago. [ She shivers. The memory hasn't gotten any weaker. ]
Everyone was there. The entire class, the teacher... [ me ]
But you and Hajime. You were gone. And I didn't know how to ask you why. I guess I still didn't.
[ She'd lost her chance before she'd told him, hadn't she? She leans back against the bench, now intertwining her fingers together, a sad little confused smile playing across her face. (It's probably a smile.) ]
Ah... we still don't know how to talk to each other, any of us... it's a process, isn't it? Just like anything else...
But Nagito-kun... did you really think for a moment that I would think you're unworthy? How could I?
...Hajime, as far as I know. Was off becoming...Kamukura. I don't actually know what happened past I was suspended. I haven't remembered that far. [The entire...his grey eyes widen as he squeezes her fingers.
He hasn't answered her about the idea of him being unworthy. No, that got kicked out of his mind because now he has to ask her.
Komaeda looks at her face as he asks.] ...the entire class. All of class 77.
He hasn't answered her about the idea of him being unworthy. No, that got kicked out of his mind because now he has to ask her.
Komaeda looks at her face as he asks.] ...the entire class. All of class 77.
Nanami.
[ His voice is firm as he speaks through the link; he's tired, exhausted, even. But at the same time, affection threads from him to her nevertheless. Of course he's taking a nap on the bed, but he's taking his time to do something like this. Because she needs to know. ]
I'm back. I... I'm a little tired, but I'm finally back.
[ His voice is firm as he speaks through the link; he's tired, exhausted, even. But at the same time, affection threads from him to her nevertheless. Of course he's taking a nap on the bed, but he's taking his time to do something like this. Because she needs to know. ]
I'm back. I... I'm a little tired, but I'm finally back.
[His eyes lock on her arm. Yes. She knows. For a moment he doesn't say anything. Then he gently takes her other hand in his and looks directly into her eyes.] Did I ever tell you about the Two Millias here?
Ah, and my friend Silver. Another version of him arrived and was here for a while.
Ah, and my friend Silver. Another version of him arrived and was here for a while.
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